Seek First His Kingdom...

Recent conversation between That Dude and me:

TD: “How was work today?”
Me: “It was WORK.”
...Silence while That Dude is in serious thought...
TD: “You know something, that is exactly my problem with your job. I can get over the late and weekend meetings, I can get past how far it is but I will never be able to get past the fact that every time I ask you about work you respond, ‘It was work.’ It shouldn't be that way Mel.”
Me: “But it’s not EVERYday. There are some days when I come home after having had a GREAT day at work!”
TD: “I know, and I treasure those days.”
Me: (Frustrated) “Well, I’m sorry honey, I NEED this job right now. Our wedding is just a few weeks away and I’d like for us to have food to eat and I don’t want to have to live in a shelter!”
TD: (Exhausted) “I know...”

Let me begin by saying that I don’t hate my job. I love that we get to help people who are in serious need. I love my co-workers. I have a swively leather chair and business cards and voicemail and Internet. My job involves a ministry component, so I can spend time reading the bible or about church history at my desk and nobody would think it odd. I’ve sat and spoken with politicians and Directors of great non-profit organizations and I’ve added significantly to both my network and my résumé in just 3 years. But even with all of that, I look forward to the weekend (and dread Monday mornings) more often than I’d like to admit. I come home feeling exhausted but unaccomplished many nights. And while I make more than I have any right to complain about (and more than the median household income of the community that I work in!) I sometimes feel like the money isn’t worth my stress levels, you know?

And as I was putting together a blog post about God being in control, I was reminded of a verse in the Gospel according to Matthew that says that we shouldn't worry because God sees what we need and as long as we are doing the work of His Kingdom, He will continue to provide for us. (Matthew 6:31-34)

I’m not planning to quit my job, but this was a great mental nudge. I don’t NEED this job. If I lost this job tomorrow, I’m lucky enough (in huge part because of my experience AT this job) to know what resources are available to us. If I lost this job tomorrow, I have the contacts and experience, and most importantly a Daddy God to help me get something new even in a time of nationwide recession!

What does all of this mean for me? It means that it’s time to get on the ball. This is where I am at the moment, not because I NEED to be but because it’s where God placed me 3 years ago and where I’ve chosen to stay for the time being. For as long as I’m here I need to excel at what I’m doing (“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.” Colossians 3:23)but I also need to be open to the Lord’s movements and only stay here as long as He says I should. Then, when the time comes I need to be prepared to trust Him to guide me in whatever comes next.