Tuesday, January 12, 2010

How Soon is "TOO SOON"?

That Dude and I have a running joke about our ability to "take things slowly" (or better stated, our lack thereof!) When people ask about our relationship and how long we dated, I always laugh before answering. He and I had been best friends for years and, during the winter of 2008, as things went downhill with my ex, I found myself spending more and more time crying to him about how I'd "NEVER find my forever man". He was always great about telling me to pray about it and to do whatever I felt was really best for me. Eventually things ended and then suddenly in February 2009 That Dude and I began to notice the feelings that were developing between us. We discussed it and agreed to "take things slowly" since I'd so recently broken up with my ex. We continued to hang out regularly and in March we decided to date exclusively with the strict rule that we'd "take things slowly" for fear of what a romantic relationship could do to our friendship if it didn't work out (we had dated VERY briefly when we first met but had decided that friends were all we were meant to be - we weren't so sure that we'd be that lucky the second time around.) We quickly realized how much we cared for each other and two months later, That Dude proposed to me on my 26th birthday, and two days short of seven months later, I was walking down the aisle!

As you can see, we have a slightly different concept of the meaning of the word slow than most people! So of course what was intended to be a serious conversation turned into lots of laughter last night when I said that we should revisit our premarital compromise on how long to wait before trying to have kids. When we first discussed it, I wanted to wait around one calendar year before beginning to try to get pregnant and That Dude (who is slightly younger than I am, and therefore not thinking about babies yet) felt that a more reasonable amount of time to wait would be AT LEAST three to four years. After lots of talking and praying, we finally agreed that we'd wait the one year (with the understanding that it may take us a little while to actually conceive since I had an ovary removed at 18. As we got closer and closer to the wedding though, I began to feel more of a need to wait it out and enjoy each other and he began to think more and more that we should begin sooner than later! Now that we're married though it's not just a thought to ponder, it's a reality that we have to think about every time we (ahem) lay with each other.

Although we know that in the end it's a decision that only we can truly make for ourselves, we've begun to seek advice from people whose opinions we value. Which brings me to you guys. If there is anyone with an opinion on this topic leave me a comment.

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