Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Relationships Are An Interesting Species of Animal...

How can it be that one day I'm crying about the difficulties of maintaining a successful relationship and the next I feel an overwhelming sense of love for T? How can it be that when things are bad I feel like it couldn't possibly be any worse, but the good times... aah... they are oh so good...

If you follow my twitter, then you may have received my update about the "cancer of relationships". But interesting enough, I feel much better today, even though not much has changed since Sunday. All was quiet yesterday as far as the princess' mother is concerned, and nothing spectacular happened between T and I, but as I headed home from work last night, my heart felt SO full of love for him!

I'm praying for things to improve for us. I really do love him dearly, and I know that he loves me too. We've agreed to sit and have a serious talk about what each of us would like to see changed and agree on some specific actions that need to be taken for those changes to take place. We've agreed that this conversation won't be about saving each others' feelings (we won't be nasty to each other, but we also won't hold things inside either. My prayers for our conversation? That God put the best words into my mouth so that I explain everything that I'm feeling without being mean. That God lead us both to a better understanding of each other. That love be our driving force.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

So Tired...

I know that relationships are sometimes difficult, but how do you make them at least a LITTLE simpler? Is love enough?

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Hello Everyone...

I just wanted to shoot off a quick post to say sorry for falling off the face of the blogosphere lately. If you've followed my Twittering, you might know that I've requested prayer for my family. Well I won't get into the personal details of my family right now, especially since our situation: 1. is still very real, 2. involves others even more than it affects me, and 3. for some reason, not everyone wants all their business shared with the blogging world (though for the life of me, I can't understand why not!?) Either way, I will make a formal request for our safety. I hope to be back to blogging regularly very soon. Over the next few days I'll even try to finish up and post some of the thankfulness posts that I worked on during my hiatus.

Thanks to everyone for your kind thoughts, words and prayers!

Friday, December 12, 2008

Thank God for Time!

Because I'm over my hours for this week, I got to sleep in a little later and come to work at 1pm today (always a blessing to rest a bit more, since I don't do so well during the night hours.) And even though I was super stressed about the article that I have to write for the organization's newsletter (in case you're wondering, it was supposed to be on my boss' desk by today) I no longer have to worry because I now have this weekend to work on it! So grateful for the extra time. Now I can hand something in that looks like an adult actually put it together! Yay!

Now I'm heading out to party in true holiday style! Tonight is my church Christmas party. Woot woot! Hopefully somebody else will take some good pics that I can snag from Facebook to show you guys! Chat with you mañana!!

P.S.-- I haven't told you guys about last weekend's drama with the baby's mother (gosh, I've really gotta work on everyone's blog names!) but just an update that he didn't go pick her up today (she supposedly has a virus, but I don't fully believe that) and we probably won't see her for her 1st birthday this Sunday (I had a feeling this would happen and it's why I suddenly stopped talking about the party, I didn't want to continue planning and then be disappointed in the end.) I'm not happy about it, but right now, even this couldn't knock the God-High that I have. CityLighters, I'll see you in a bit! And if you have a camera, make sure I'm smiling before you snap! Lol.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

DAY 10...

Let me begin by saying that it's somewhat difficult for me to choose my topic each day... not because of a lack of things to discuss, but because I have so many things that I could go on and on about!

Today though, I'll share with you how thankful I am for my photography classes. Yes, that's right, I'm taking a course on the basics of photography, and I'm really enjoying it! And though I use a manual film camera for the class, it's even improved my shots with my automatic digital also! Unfortunately I can't prove thact since my camera stopped working on Saturday while I was at a baby shower :o( T said that there's a warranty on it and that he'll contact Sony for me, so I guess it'll be even longer until I can upload my pics (my camera uses a mini sd card and there's no slot for that on my computer.)

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

My Ears and a Reminder That The Lord Provides...

I had a doctor's appointment today for my ears (they've been ringing for awhile and more recently I've experienced dizziness and some other symptoms also.) I've been stressing about money lots lately, so having to take half of a day off of work and then pay a $40 co-pay for a doctor to leave me in the waiting room for an hour and then spend all of 5 - 10 minutes listening to my symptoms/looking into my ears, all to say "Your ears look fine." isn't my idea of a good day! But, I must say that I feel wonderful knowing that I have a job with benefits like health insurance and personal days so that I can figure out what's going on with my health. And as for finances, I'm especially thankful today that without anyone's help, I'm able to pay my own co-payments. I must be some kind of grown up or something! ;o)

Monday, December 8, 2008

Sort of a cheat post...

Tired, but still want to post... Today I'm thankful that I'll be able to get a good night's sleep after a bit of a stressful afternoon yesterday. I'm also thankful that God guides my steps and is helping me to make some big decisions these days.

Goodnight all!

Sunday, December 7, 2008


I just had a great time serving in "kids church". I really do love our kids and always have fun when I'm on the schedule. Today the kids were especially great. Not too wild (though they had their moments of course) and actually listening as we taught about Paul (the older kids were particularly interested in hearing more about Saul's persecution of Christians and the fact that God changed his name, lol.)

So today as I give thanks, I'm especially thankful for the opportunity to learn more about teaching children through my experience at church. I'm also thankful for a great group of kids and parents. And lastly, that God is helping me to grow in patience and character through the children's antics (often very funny later on, though not so much in the actual moments!)

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Purity is the New Black!

Good morning friends! Well, I'll start by saying that I feel much better this morning spiritually than last night when I posted. I'm sure that the main reason is because I prayed so hard last night, and God never falls short on His promises (Yay God!)

But physically I'm not feeling so hot right now. I slept over at my boyfriend's house and apparently his bed is in desperate need of replacement, so my back is absolutely killing me right now.

This all leads me to my thankfulness post for today. Today, I'm glad to say that I'm thankful that God is keeping me pure. That's right ladies and gents, I'm saving myself for marriage. Let me back up a little. No, I'm not a virgin, although I wish I'd been smart enough to remain that way, but for many years, I had little to no self worth and looked to others to validate me including the belief that to be a "good" girlfriend I had certain obligations. I'm not sure exactly when that idea developed, though I do have some ideas as to why even though I don't recall anyone ever directly telling me that.

Then I came to the Lord, and one of the first changes to my life was the decision to attempt celibacy. In the beginning, it was a very religious decision, I felt that God didn't want me to and that I'd be making Him angry by having premarital sex. When that was my reasoning, it was a very difficult decision to stand by. With time and prayer though, my reasons changed. Today, I choose not to engage in sexual immorality because of myself and my own values. Today it's because I know that my body is something that I'd like to present to my husband as something special on our wedding night.

I'd also like to add that I'm thankful to have a boyfriend who respects my decision.

Have a great Saturday everyone!

Friday, December 5, 2008

Hard Days Call for... Blog Writing!

Ok, so my title isn't all that poetic, but guess what? This is my blog!

Today's post will be short (for once.) I had a great day and then an anointed church service in which the Holy Spirit did some great things! And then the damn enemy started his shit again. I'm so done with him today. So today I will say how thankful I am that I'm a child of the king! I know that a few years ago I wouldn't have recognized the attacks as easily, or if I did, I wouldn't have had the strength to fight it. I don't have enough energy to explain it all right now, but I ask that whoever is reading this could be kind enough to include me in your prayers. I know that God will be more than merciful.


Thursday, December 4, 2008

It's More Than Just Something to Do

It's not what I envisioned for myself... It's not even in the latter part of my "Ten-Year-Plan"... Some days I'm annoyed by just thinking about it... Have you guessed yet? Well I'll give you a hint, I'm on my way there as I write this post on my phone... My Job!

I've worked for my organization for a little more than two years now and it's been quite an interesting experience. We're a Catholic CBO working primarily with the Hispanic community of Upper Manhattan helping to bridge the gap between the community residents and resources available to them. Through this job, I've met many interesting and important people (NYC judges, local and state politicians, screenwriters, etc), I've gained skills (such as website management, better communication, and improved organization), and had lots of laughs. But like any job, at moments it's simply WORK.

Today though, I felt the need to take some time out to give thanks for the work that I do. While my own personality causes me to get bored easily no matter what I'm doing, and my mind sometimes wanders, I really do love my job. We have a small staff (as of Monday we grew to a full-time staff of five, plus we have a Jesuit priest that comes by two days a week and also works with us on some of our projects) and that allows us to just let things in the office flow. Having such a small staff also means things like:
-We go out to lunch together instead of having office parties,
-Throughout the work week, we often discuss our opinions on anything from celebrities, to food, to politics, to our personal values
-We help each other with projects since there usually no "team" to work on things

So on this fourth day, I'm grateful for my job!


At the end of the day I was called into the Executive Director's office. He asked how I felt about giving up one of my ongoing projects (I work together with our local Assembly Member to put together housing forums for the community as well as working on housing issues for any of our walk-ins or call-ins) and giving me the responsibility of taking over a program that we offer to young adults teaching evangelization and leadership. The thing about the program is that there is somebody on staff who coordinates this program. If I were to agree to take on this program, it would mean the following:

  • The other staff member would no longer work on this program and would only work on the library that we've been trying to open to the public (this is currently her other responsibility)
  • I would have to work one Saturday a month (I currently stop by to help out anyway, but it's voluntary and I usually come in the afternoon not the full day)
  • I'd have more job responsibilities I could put on my resumè (listen, I'm not leaving now, but I know that I'm not going to be here forever!)
  • I would REALLY have to get more organized
  • I'd be doing more networking
  • On the week that I work Saturday, I'd be able to take a weekday off of work (I'd probably choose the Friday before)
  • I'll be held accountable for keeping the program successful (we're currently having problems with attendance which is a big part of the reason for taking the responsibility off my co-worker's hands - she's been working lots on the library and this program is suffering)

I asked if I could sleep on it and my Director was understanding. I'm going to do some serious praying about this.

Sounds fun!

I heard about this in a cab (NYC has tvs in the cabs) and found it to be interesting.
Duracell Invites Consumers to Power the New Year at the Duracell Power Lodge in New York City's Times Square

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

It's "T" Time!

Thankfulness... Day 3...

Today is my sweetheart's birthday, so it's fitting that I should write today about why I'm thankful for him. Not long ago, I shared the story of how we got together, so you understand a little about our relationship already, but that's barely scratching the surface!

Despite our ups and downs, I have so much to be grateful for when it comes to T. He has been there for me in happy times (at my high school graduation he cheered as if I'd won the Nobel Prize!), in the difficult moments (like when I had a nervous breakdown and he came to pick me up then took me to and stayed with me in the hospital) and everything in between. I'm grateful that he manages to keep me humble, but never lets me put myself down and that in doing so, he's helped me to realize my self-worth. I'm grateful that he's helped me to see the importance of ignoring what everyone else thinks when reaching for my goals. I'm grateful that in many of my darkest moments, he brought a smile to my face. And that he helped me to understand that sometimes you just have to take out a few moments for silliness in your day or you'll go nuts!

I'm grateful for everything that the last 7 1/2 years has thrown our way (yup, even the not so happy moments!) and I pray that we get to spend the rest of our lives continuing to get to know and love each other more each day.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

"I wanna tell you something..."

When thinking about doing the 31 posts in December, I started working on a list of the things I could write about. For some of the topics, I instantly knew where in the month I would put them. For some topics, I had an idea of the order but no specific dates. And since I didn't want to completely limit myself, I didn't come up with 31, which leaves time throughout the month for me to give thanks for the unexpected stuff.

One topic that I know needed to be front and center was how grateful I am for my mother. She could come second ONLY to God. Ironically enough though, I'm even more thankful for my mother today than usual. Today after work, I will be attending a wake for the mother of an elementary school classmate. I cannot begin to imagine the pain of losing my mother at my age, and from the moment that I hard about the passing of my friend's mother, I've been overwhelmed by love for my own mother, so on this 2nd day of December, I bring to you: My Mommy!

My mom and I at my 24th birthday party at a lounge! Yup mama likes to party too!

There are so many reasons for me to give thanks for my mom. For most of my life, my mother was a single parent, and although she had help from my grandparents, she ran the show. My mother raised me with a love for God, a respect for myself as well as those around me, an understanding that the newest gadgets weren't the important things to expect in life, but that thoughtful love-filled actions were not to be neglected.

Mom and I at a baby shower last year (my mom is hot!)

I think back to some moments in my memory where my mom did whatever was necessary, and I want to laugh, cry, and just hug her. My favorite example:

-When I was in the 5th grade, my principal decided to have a dance for the 5th - 8th graders. I was so excited! My mom and I very carefully chose an outfit for the big event. I knew that I wanted to be dressed up snce this was a SUPER IMPORTANT NIGHT! On the night of the I dance wore a skirt and a fancy shirt and happily headed out the door. When I arrived at the school, I felt cool and confident and ready to face the world... until I noticed that everyone (well it surely seemed like everyone) was wearing jeans! Oh the horror! I ran into the bathroom and no amount of consoling, convincing or threats could get me out! What did my mother do? She got on the subway, went to my house and brought me a pair of jeans! I couldn't thank her enough! And while it may sound insignificant to even me after so many years, at that moment it was as big of a deal as anything could be.

Us on my 25th birthday at my grandparents' house.

So, once again, thanks mom for being you, and thanks God for a pretty cool mom!

Monday, December 1, 2008

Not Me Monday

For more "Not Me Monday" fun, Visit MckMamma's blog!

It's time for another round my lovelies! There's so much that I didn't do since my last post!

For starters, I did not miss last week's post because I was soooo exhausted that I just wanted to sleep at my desk. And I didn't get upset with myself as I finally did drift off to sleep (in my bed) because I really wanted to post. Who's addicted to blogging?? Not Me!

I didn't pray all week for Thanksgiving just so that I would have a few days off of work! And there's no way after a four day weekend someone walked into my office and said "What's wrong, you look exhausted!" and there's not a chance that after I was actually beginning to feel better, I let his words make me believe I was tired And I didn't spend the rest of the day complaining about how tired I was!

I also didn't do that thing where T asks "What's wrong?" and I say "Nothing" even though we both know I'm not happy. And when asked again, I didn't start crying for reasons unknown to even myself. This would go against all of the work that T and I have been doing to improve our communication and I would never do that!

I didn't let laziness get the best of me and forget to upload my pictures for the last 3 days so that I could show you the paper invites that will go out this week (seriously, I'll show you soon!)

And I'm not writing this post after 11pm because I was debating over whether or not to air my dirty laundry! You're my blog family and I can tell you ANYTHING!

Those of you who aren't as tired as I am should take a moment to check out MckMama's blog for the list of who else is participating in the weekly "Not Me" (plus her kids are adorable and she's got lots of pics up!) To everyone else, GOOD NIGHT!

NaBloPoMo - 31 in 31

Here's the plan, this month at NaBloPoMo the topic is "Thankfulness" and I've decided to make the attempt to post at least once daily for the month of December. Will you read along?


I felt that even in my blog there is a need to put God first, so today I'll talk a bit about how thankful I am for Him and what He's done for me.

While my posts don't say anti-Christian, there little that someone stumbling across my blog would find that would tell them that I'm a God-loving, nut for Jesus either (I really am though!)

God has been my foundation all along, but there are so many blessings that I can testify to especially in the last five years including being delivered from Chronic Depression and GAD (General Anxiety Disorder), my mother truly* coming to Christ, healings, financial blessings and so much more!

So today and every day for the rest of my life I'll be thankful for Christ's sacrifice on Calvery 2000 years ago.

*My family has always been Roman Catholic and our actions in life were loosely based on church teachings, but there was always (at least for me) a little something missing. In the Summer of 2004, I had a Romans 10:9** salvation at a church picnic in Central Park NYC and that Winter my mother and sister were saved also.

**Romans 10:9 says "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved."

Saturday, November 29, 2008

My Apologies...

I've kind of sucked as a blogger the last few days. In my defense though, it's been pretty busy. So let me catch you up...

Wednesday I had an interesting conversation with the princess's mother. She surprised me by sharing some personal info that I wasn't fully prepared for. All I can say is that I respect her honesty and am actually beginning to believe that she doesn't have alterior motives for trying to be my friend.

I spent Thanksgiving at the home of a friend from church and afterwards went out to the movies with a few of the people who were there. In case you're wondering, we saw "Slumdog Millionaire" and it was great! (Thanks Suzanne!)

Yesterday was T's court date in family court. I'm happy to announce that things went well. Here's the basics of the stipulations:
-Shared custody of the princess
-Child Support was finally agreed on
-T has visitation every weekend from 6pm on Friday to 6pm on Sunday. And they will be splitting Christmas and New Year's.
This means a lot for us. It means that T now has a steady schedule of when he'll be seeing the princess, and it's not really up for discussion. It means that T can stop worrying about this and can begin focusing on other important things (like really giving his life to Christ - he's asked me if he can go to church with me on Sunday!) It means that we really can throw the birthday party (invitations will go out this week.) It also means that I'll be introducing her to the blogosphere! All very exciting!

Throughout all of this, I've been loosely planning the party, and now will be going into party planning overdrive. Hope you'll join me!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

25 ain't easy! (Alternately Titled "Quarter Life Crisis")

While I fully realize that every age comes with its own set of challenges, this age has been difficult for quite a few reasons, including:

-Relationship with T: 1. Getting back into a relationship with T wasn't the easiest decision to make and some days are more difficult than others. While we've both grown up drastically in our time apart, a major part of my growth has been in my relationship with God, and we don't always seem to see eye-to-eye on matters of faith. It's not that T tries in ANY way to hinder my relationship with God, but he also doesn't make as much effort as I'd want, to share in this relational experience. Granted, he's gone to church with me a couple of times in the last 9 months, but I just don't understand how why he's not ridiculously in love with Christ and super excited about going to service... Ok, ok, I'll admit I don't always jump out of bed on Sunday mornings, but if HE WANTED to go at least somewhat regularly, I'd be much happier. 2. The second major reason why our relationship has been more difficult than some is because of the strain caused by trying to figure out the semantics of dealing with Daddy's Little Princess and all that comes with this little person (including her mother, outsiders' assumptions about my reactions, and learning how to be accomodating when it's a visit weekend!) Don't get me wrong, I love this child more than I expected I'd be able to (in fact, I still get surprised at how happy seeing her makes me!) but unlike a mother, I didn't have any prep time leading up to my relationship with her.

-Relationships with friends: I spent a lot of years feeling unpopular and alone, no matter how many phone calls/emails/IMs I received, or (as I got older) no matter how many nights each week I hung out/was invited to hang out. Part of this came from serious emotional problems that I suffered from for about 15+ years (for those doing the math, I've been told that if you knew what to look for, the symptoms of depression were somewhat evident at least by the time I was 10 years old, and I fully remember the anxiety being present as early as 8 or 9 years old.) God has healed me of both General Anxiety Disorder and Chronic Depression, but I'm still working out in my mind how real friendship works, so I will sometimes go from keeping up walls to block those who care and really could be good friends to the opposite extreme of practically telling my life story to those whom I barely know (hence the blog! LOL - It takes lots of rereading and editing for me to post "normal" content in my posts, feel free to let me know when I reveal TMI*.)

-The transition from child to adult: 25 is hitting the late part of the transitional period, but it's still difficult. For some of my peers, the transition is long over, but there are a few reasons why I'm still working through this, the main reason being that I still live at home. There are both benefits and drawbacks to this, one example being that for most intents and purposes, I still live by my mother's rules (understanding the fact that my mother isn't ridiculous with rules does make it more beneficial than not though.)

-Working full-time (which sometimes includes early and late meetings), going back to school for a Bachelor's Degree (when some of my friends have/are working on Graduate Degrees), finding time for ministry (which sometimes gets a position on the back burner), balancing family/friends/my relationship with T, and at some point during every 24 hour period, I try to get something to eat and some sleep (these too seem to get neglected as back burner tasks.)

-Learning to fully trust God and not stick myself in the way (a difficult task at almost any age!)

*Too Much Information

Anyone else finding their current age extra difficult? Or is there an age that, looking back, felt more difficult than it really was?

Monday, November 24, 2008

Countdown to the Court...

Well I've already mentioned that things went through a rough patch between T and the baby's mother. Well maybe I should explain that it was more than a little rough. T has struggled to get a steady visitation schedule ever since the baby's mother found out that he was dating me again. Finally realizing that things weren't improving, T decided to take it to family court. The court date is scheduled for Friday the 28th and I'm nervous.

Paper Products (e.g., invitations)

If I had more time, I'd use my crafting supplies to hand design the invitations. As it is, I'll be sending two sets of invitations: Traditional paper invite as well as an evite. I'll be putting together the evite later today and I'll be searching for ideas online for the paper invite tonight. I'll let you know what I find.

For the thank you cards, I've already looked at Ebay for some rubber stamps and some cuttlebug dies. But with all that we're spending already, I'm not sure if it's worth it (although in the long run I'll be saving since I'll use the supplies for other projects.)

Let's see as we get closer.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Guestlist - Part 3

T and I have agreed to take not-so-nice people off of the list. I didn't want to, but T insisted that he'd rather have a nice party where nobody feels uncomfortable than to please a few people who aren't nice enough to warrant us going out of our way for them.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Guestlist - Part 2 (AKA: It's Not Easy Being Green...)

I 've had a couple of hard days.

Planning this party had been very enjoyable... until I wrote the guestlist post, then it became another thing on the To-Do list. After happily sending off the post (most of my posting is done by email from my phone - Windows Mobile Baby!) I began to envision all of the guests enjoying themselves at an amazingly coordinated party (listen, don't judge my optimistic thoughts, ok?!) but as I thought about it more and more, my mind was overtaken by a different set of thoughts. The party was still ridiculously amazing, but the guests weren't all that nice to me.

For you to better understand why ANYONE would not be nice to ME (of all people) and why we'd invite not so nice people to the party, I have to explain a little about my relationship with T.

When I was 17 years old, I was heavily involved in a youth ministry group at my church. On one particular day, I went to the house of a friend from the group. T was there. We spoke a little and that seemed to be the end of it. A few months went by and one day said friend Instant Messaged me asking if she could give her cousin my contact info. T and I emailed back and forth a couple of times and eventually hung out and started dating. We were together from June '01 to April '06 and there were normal ups and downs. Our breakup wasn't the nicest and left hurt feelings on both sides. T and I spoke very little for a little over a year. During this time some of T's family took free reign with trashing my name. One particular family member specifically took joy in spreading some really nasty (and false) rumors about me in our neighborhood (I live right around the corner from most of T's family.)

In May '07 T called me and told me that he was going to be a father. I was surprised, but happy for him. We began to talk again and our friendship was 100% platonic. He and the baby's mother were having problems and around this time, they agreed to split up. We began to hang out pretty regularly. In December the baby was born. Around the same time, I realized that my feelings for him had begun to grow. In February '08 we decided to try our chances at a relationship again. Fast forward to party planning time. Although T and I have put the past behind us, some people still believe the falsities that were said about me and others feel that I interfered in T's relationship and am the reason why it ended, so I'm understandably not jumping for joy at the idea of being trapped in a room with them for even a short time.

I'm going to discuss my feelings with T, but I don't see any options other than helping to plan the party and just not going. (Le Sigh)

Friday, November 21, 2008

Food - Part 1

Not much to be said. I 'm all for burgers and hot dogs. Nobody seems to agree with me. I guess we'll be serving real food. We've gotta decide what to serve and who's cooking... I think it's too much work...

Location - Part 1

Choosing a location isn't as simple as you'd think. We don't want to do it at home since his house isn't large enough even for just family (he has a large family and I'll be inviting my family also - notice, it's growing already... Somebody stop me!)

Since the beginning we've considered two locations: Community Center near T's house and Community Center near my house (I live around the corner from a large part of his family so this would be easiest for them, especially for his grandmother who is in a wheelchair.) Last night though, we pretty much came to a decision that either of these locations was too big since we wouldn't be doing all the extras that we'd originally discussed (check out the post on extras for details.)

We've agreed on another possibility, but don't want to tell anyone unless we confirm it.

Any suggestions for a 1st birthday party location in NYC that doesn't cost $1,000,000,000,000 and isn't ridiculous to travel to by public transportation?

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Guests - Part 1

The guestlist is going to be interesting. Of course, we'll invite all (ok, most) of T's family. I'll invite some of my family (mostly those with children close to the baby's age, but also those who have grown to love T over the years.) We have a few friends at church who also have babies in the same age range, so of course we'll invite them. Then, of course, we HAVE TO INVITE (I feel it growing again) all of my friends who've had parties for their kids and have invited us! Ummm, I think we might have to cut some people before we even start, but I'll see what can be done.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008


Decorations are pretty simple. Since the cake is already decided, we'll either go with Elmo 100% or a Sesame Street theme.

EDIT: So I looked up Elmo and Sesame Street decorations online and was shocked at how much I would have to pay for 8 measely plates, 8 cups, and 8 napkins! This is ridiculous! This is as good a time as any to let you find out something else about me. I'm all about the DIY (although I will admit that I have a lot of half finished projects at home.)

I'll be trying my hardest not to spend an extravagant amount on this party, especially since Christmas is right after. I'll see what I can come up with and get back to you.

Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Cake - Check!



Although not usually the first thing to think about when planning a party, I'll start with the cake.

Last night as mom and I were headed home from the evening service at church, we stopped to look at the cakes in the window of a local bakery. Mom noticed an Elmo cake which immediately made me think of the baby (she has a large stuffed elmo that she just can't get enough of.) I went in and asked how much such a cake would cost, and pleased with the answer, I took the baker's business card and told her that I'd probably be getting back to her pretty soon.

I told mom the price and she agreed that it was worth it, so I called T for his thoughts on it. He was immediately excited about the party again! Mom even agreed to pay for the cake if we actually end up throwing the party! Yay!

I'll try to stop by the bakery tonight to get a picture of the masterpiece to share with everyone.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Today's Topic

If you look at the blogs I follow, you'll notice "One Minute Writter" is one of them. I love to write, but often feel that there's no time or I just can't focus enough to think of a topic. The prompts (and timer) at One Minute Writter give me no more excuses! Check out the blog here

Today's prompt is: "Write about something interesting that happened this weekend."

Well, this weekend was definitely interesting. Friday night T got the baby and after church I stopped by to see her for a bit .

For Saturday we were planning a pretty full day and although it didn't happen, we did meet up. We went to BBB and bought a gift for Cici's housewarming, but a loudly screaming child (ahem, ok, it was baby) forced us to leave the store and just go home for the night (Sorry Cici, and I still have your gift in my house.)

Sunday was supposed to be church for all of us, but baby's mom came early to pick her up so instead, I went alone.

Basically, this weekend was a reminder that no matter how much to try to plan, sometimes things just don't go according to schedule. I will say though, that I had some very good conversations this weekend that made me feel better. Thank you to Maritza and Sam for reassuring me that when the time comes, I won't be THE WORST mother in the world!

Hope everyone else's weekend was better coordinated than mine!

Not Me Monday!

For more "Not Me Monday" fun, click here

I've seen this on some blogs recently, and I've got lots of stuff that I DIDN'T do to post about!

I definitely didn't put off 2 weeks of homework and then realize that the museum paper that I have to hand in on Wednesday is now impossible since the museum is closed on Monday and Tuesday. That would've been super irresponsible.

I didn't spend way too much time reading blogs and looking up stuff for baby's birthday party and have to take work home. That would definitely ruin my night!

There's no way that I got so frustrated that I wanted to cry. And I surely didn't tell God that "I'm ready to give up." because I KNOW that words aree powerful and I wouldn't ever throw around words that way. (And when I DIDN'T sit and think about what exactly it was that I absolutely WASN'T ready to give up on, I definitely DID NOT realize that those words were empty emotion because I'm "more than a conqueror" - and I DIDN'T remind myself of that point from Pastor B's sermon yesterday!)

Wow, that was therapeutic and now I'll take this moment to thank God that I'm so blessed!

Ok everyone, I've gotta go... Huh? What's that? Oh! No! These definitely AREN'T papers that need to be retyped for work.. Haven't we already discussed this?

What haven't you done this week?

Planning a B'day Party for Baby


After going back and forth for months, we've decided to throw a birthday party for T's daughter. The idea previously seemed unlikely at best because of conflict between T and the baby's mother about visitation. His visitation was so sporadic that we weren't sure if he'd have her for her birthday (or even the week after) so we couldn't really invite anyone. Since we're expecting a formal order from the court by the end of the month, we decided to go ahead and plan something slightly larger than cake and ice cream at home. With my love of lists, I got right to work!

Party Planning Basics:
Extras and Goodies (e.g., goodie bags)
Paper Products (e.g., invitations)

Not a ridiculous list of stuff to pull together, but I'll admit that I do sometimes have a habit of making seemingly simple projects grow into humongous undertakings... For my own sanity, I'll break the party planning into multiple posts (I've found that working on one thing at a time really helps me to keep things a reasonable size.

If there's anything I'm missing from my list, feel free to let me know!

Friday, November 14, 2008

"Expectations are just predetermined disappointments"

This was a quote that I heard today from my boss. I thought it was really interesting. I'm still trying to figure out whether or not I agree with it. On one hand, it seems pretty grim and cynical. Is it really true that I can't really expect anything from anyone else? Should I stop setting expectations for myself also? But then I think about what the bible teaches me.

"Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them." (Mark 11:24 KJV)

What I hear in this passage is that I can go ahead and set my prayers (and expectations) on certain things and they really will come to be.

But then what about all those times that I expect things and they just don't happen. It's easy to say "Oh well, I guess it just wasn't God's will." But that doesn't always seem like a valid answer.

I'll give you an example. I'm expecting a pretty serious healing right now. I felt God move me and I responded (okay, I'll admit, my response time was much slower than it should've been) by donating my glasses to an organization. My action was done out of the faith that if God really was the one who wanted me to step out in my faith, then He would respond according to His word. So I've been walking around now for a few weeks without glasses or contacts and things still look blurry. I have been truly blessed in that I haven't suffered from headaches (in the past, even a few minutes without eyewear meant serious migraines), and my eyesight is definitely better than it was on day one. BUT... I'm still not at 100% capicity and I'm frustrated!

What am I doing wrong?

My New Addiction...

It started with one that I checked out once in awhile... Then it became a daily habit... One daily turned into two, and then quickly multiplied... As more and more were added to my daily regimine, I started doing it at home, work, and anywhere else if I had a free moment...


It really is starting to get ridiculous now. Google Reader has only made things worse. And a Windows Mobile Phone? Forget it! I can't get enough!

Funny enough I've been blogging for about 1 1/2-2 years at this point, but I didn't really spend any time reading other people's writings, and my (original) blog has always been private, serving more as an online diary. About 6 months ago though, I found a wedding based blog and I'd check it out for ideas (both for my eventual wedding as well as for my possible business (I'll explain this another time.) I added the feed to my Outlook at work, but I'd still have to get onto the site to read from home and I still had the issue of saving and categorizing articles. THEN... my good friend Google Reader came into my life. I now read about 20+ posts from various bloggers, daily (I'm subscribed to a bunch of photography blogs, so many of these posts don't involve much reading, but give me amazing ideas for pictures!) and the list is sure to grow. You just don't understand (or maybe you do) but there are blogs that touch on any and every topic you can imagine, and while I might seem strange for reading people's personal writings (especially when I don't know most of these people) I'll say that there is something very comforting about reading very down to earth stories about families, something that moves me in political blogs, something inspirational about both the photography and the Christian blogs.. I hope you get he point.

So there you have it. It was my little secret, but I've finally come clean. I feel MUCH better now!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Who in the world is Mel...?

Although I assume that most of my readers probably know a good deal about me (and therefore are reading my blog to keep up with my updates), I still think it might be a good idea to give a little background about myself.

  1. I'm a twenty-something year old Christian woman with a serious love of the Lord.

  2. I live in the greatest city in the world (NYC) and I love it (ok, I know that I'm pretty biased since I've always lived here and don't have much to compare it to.)

  3. I'm an on-again off-again student who has promised my parents that someday I'll make them proud with a Bachelor's (and then a Master's) Degree.

  4. I am super family oriented (One of my worries is that I won't ever be able to love my own children as much as My Nene (my nickname for my little bro, who you'll hear PLENTY about!)

  5. I'm working on weeding out the good from bad friends (something that I've come to realize most people my age are also working on.)

  6. I'm in a relationship with a man who I really do love. Sure, we argue from time to time, but what relationship is perfect???

  7. I love to read, write, take pictures, talk on the phone, listen to music, search for random things on Google, and so much more!

  8. I have a serious love for parenthetical statements (tee hee hee)

  9. I often lose my train of thought mid-sentence and will jump from one subject to another... fair warning that my writings will reflect this from time to time...

There's plenty more to know, but in time, I'm sure you'll see it for yourselves!

Sunday, November 9, 2008


Hello my lovlies... Hello...? Is this thing on??? Ok, well if there IS anyone out there in webosphere, I'd like to take a minute to welcome you and thank you for stopping by my blog. This space will be a few things... A space to get out my thoughts, feelings and emotions... A space to share updates in my life with friends and family... A drawing board for figuring things out (expect to see quite a few lists, lol.) I hope that you enjoy the ride!