Married Conversation

That Dude: "Can BFF come over tonight?"

Me: "And if I say no are you going to tell him to go home?"

TD: SILENCE

Me: "He can come over."

TD (away from phone): "She said you can stay!"

Posted by Mel via Blogaway

Happy Aniversary to Mr. Mel!

Dear That Dude,

One year ago we took the biggest (conscious) leap of our lives. This year hasn't been all rainbows and butterflies, but I wouldn't trade any of our experiences for anything in the world. 




I'm sorry that I didn't live up to my promise of you having your Camaro by the end of our first year, but (I think) what I DID give you is much better!

You are more than deserving of my respect and you have shown me that over and over in both the awesome and the difficult moments.

Thank you for helping me to learn more about you as a person, the meaning of true love, and so much about myself (and thank you for your patience along the way!)

I look forward to the many happy years ahead of us.

I love you F+1.

-Mel

P.S. - We made it through the first year! Where are all of the haters and naysayers now?!

Jul 12 12:55am

I love him like I've never loved anyone before. I could spend three lifetimes with him and it wouldn't be long enough. I pray that he knows that and feels the same way.

I feel like I'm finally beginning to understand him better. I feel like we're finally connecting on a deeper level. I want that to continue. I wish I could get into is head sometimes though.


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Emotional Rollercoaster

I have (what I think is) an important post in drafts about marriage. Now I don't claim to be anywhere near expert level, but I AM married, and in just 4 months, I have begun to learn a thing or two.

If you've read my last few posts you might think that That Dude and I are having problems, well, I assure you that we're fine! We are more in love (most days) than we've ever been before, so just stay tuned and in the next day or two I hope to get this post up and maybe some feedback from you (yes, YOU!)

3:30am

Laying here in bed. So in love. So full of doubt and worry. All of the "what if's" running through my head like a freight train at full speed. Wish I could say that "only time will tell" but the reality is that if you're good at being bad then time won't reveal much and if you're good at being good I don't want to keep wasting time with unnecessary jealousy. Why can't I just confront you? Why don't I have the guts to ask you about it?

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Sometimes...

...It is hard to trust...
...I just want to give up...
...You say and do little things that hurt but I don't say anything...
...You do little things that I notice but don't mention for the sake of not sounding paranoid or being the crazy jealous wife...


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3:20am

Thoughts racing through my mind
Amazingly I trust
More annoyed than scared
Why aren't we on the same wavelength?

Is it age that makes us so different?
Is it male vs female?
Why is it so easy for him
And so hard for me to understand?

Listening to breathing in the dark
Praying that the next few months will bring a conversion
Knowing that it will take more than simply time
Worrying that I'll be too hard - or worse, too soft

Oh baby, how I worry about your daddy
I worry about how we're connecting
Am I doing something wrong?
Or are my expectations simply skewed?

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How Soon is "TOO SOON"?

That Dude and I have a running joke about our ability to "take things slowly" (or better stated, our lack thereof!) When people ask about our relationship and how long we dated, I always laugh before answering. He and I had been best friends for years and, during the winter of 2008, as things went downhill with my ex, I found myself spending more and more time crying to him about how I'd "NEVER find my forever man". He was always great about telling me to pray about it and to do whatever I felt was really best for me. Eventually things ended and then suddenly in February 2009 That Dude and I began to notice the feelings that were developing between us. We discussed it and agreed to "take things slowly" since I'd so recently broken up with my ex. We continued to hang out regularly and in March we decided to date exclusively with the strict rule that we'd "take things slowly" for fear of what a romantic relationship could do to our friendship if it didn't work out (we had dated VERY briefly when we first met but had decided that friends were all we were meant to be - we weren't so sure that we'd be that lucky the second time around.) We quickly realized how much we cared for each other and two months later, That Dude proposed to me on my 26th birthday, and two days short of seven months later, I was walking down the aisle!

As you can see, we have a slightly different concept of the meaning of the word slow than most people! So of course what was intended to be a serious conversation turned into lots of laughter last night when I said that we should revisit our premarital compromise on how long to wait before trying to have kids. When we first discussed it, I wanted to wait around one calendar year before beginning to try to get pregnant and That Dude (who is slightly younger than I am, and therefore not thinking about babies yet) felt that a more reasonable amount of time to wait would be AT LEAST three to four years. After lots of talking and praying, we finally agreed that we'd wait the one year (with the understanding that it may take us a little while to actually conceive since I had an ovary removed at 18. As we got closer and closer to the wedding though, I began to feel more of a need to wait it out and enjoy each other and he began to think more and more that we should begin sooner than later! Now that we're married though it's not just a thought to ponder, it's a reality that we have to think about every time we (ahem) lay with each other.

Although we know that in the end it's a decision that only we can truly make for ourselves, we've begun to seek advice from people whose opinions we value. Which brings me to you guys. If there is anyone with an opinion on this topic leave me a comment.

Day 11

We're not feeling well. :o(

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Post Wedding Blues...?

I heard time and again over the last 6 months about the "Post Wedding Blues" and how, after all of the planning and stressing to make it all PERFECT, the day would go by so quickly and I'd wish there had been more to it all. Well, here we are, day 10 since the wedding and I'm feeling nothing short of joy, just as I have every day since the wedding! **And, as a simple side note for all of those who said, "Just wait until one of you is sick, or cranky, or has a bad day at work..." I beg to differ since he's home with Pink Eye and I'm annoyed that I had to leave my house on what feels like a single digit temperature day, without gloves or a hat and get on a crowded train to go to work with a stuffy nose and mild fever, yet I'm still smiling!**

While I'll admit, the wedding day was indeed non-stop and I couldn't believe how quickly parts of it were over (like, who hit the fast forward button at the ceremony?), by the time we left the reception site (around 9pm) I was beat! I couldn't imagine dancing to one more song, or talking to even one more person.

All of this to say people should stop projecting their issues and insecurities onto others! I'm a living testament that you don't have to live by the standards of the norm. In fact, I'm calling my experience, "Post Wedding Bliss" instead!

Anybody else experience Post Wedding Bliss after getting married?

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Day 5

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Day 2

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Bloggy Wedding Shower!!

Kingdom Mama is just so awesome! I few weeks ago, I asked her to help me to get as much advice on married life as possible. She wrote this post asking readers to chime in. I'd love if you would head over and link up too!


(And she even made this cool button for me!!)

Someday Saturday

Callan's Mom came up with an idea for posts that I love called Someday Saturday. Make sure to check out her blog right here.


Someday...

I'll get married and have kids (if it's in God's plan for me.) But if it never happens, I will still love Him and praise Him.

Everyone should see the movie "Facing the Giants". I saw it last night with some friends from church and I was reminded of some of my own struggles with faith and with standing up to the 'giants' in my own life. One giant that has been laughing in my face and daring me to fight has been faith in God that I do deserve and will have in His time, a man who I can spend my life with and someday raise children with.

So, as of today, before all of you, I declare that I'm ready to fight the good fight of faith. I can't promise myself no more tears, but I promise that I'll turn to Him for comfort. I can't promise myself that I won't continue to think about it, but I promise to pray diligently and faithfully and praise Him no matter what.

What do you see in your own "Someday"?