Monday, March 8, 2010

Financial Woes (Part 2)

"For the Lord your God will bless you just as He promised you; you shall lend to many nations, but you shall not borrow; you shall reign over many nations, but they shall not reign over you. (DEUTERONOMY 15:6)

Last week I gave into the despair that had been looming for quite some time, always quietly threatening to push through my barriers of faith, and I wept tears of fear. I didn't look for words of comfort and direction in my bible as I normally do when I'm down. I ignored my husband's pleas for me to talk to him about what was wrong even when I could see that I was hurting him by pushing him away. I ignored my cousin's words spoken from a place of experience and even her offer for some tangible assistance. Instead, I allowed my fingers to vomit words of anguish and then clicked publish.

The 'reality' that I chose to live by in those hours of depression was an ugly one, but I rolled around in it until its stench was seeping out of every one of my pores. But that doesn't have to be the reality that my husband and I walk in. This weekend I spent some time in the promises of God and have decided that my future doesn't have to be bleak. Yes, I have a few bills, yes my house has normal necessities, and yes, often it does seem that it would be nice if That Dude and I had a little more income to cover some of these costs of living BUT we aren't nearly as bad off as I made it sound. We really are blessed in so many ways. Based on my calculations, we should have enough money coming in over the course of the next few weeks to bring our 'active bills' (e.g., electricity, Internet, cable, phones, etc - as opposed to the older debt) under control, if we make wise choices. We have family members who are willing to help a bit here and there until we're out of the hole. Lastly and most importantly, we have each other and the promises of the Lord that tell us of a brighter future!

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

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