Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Financial Woes

**Disclaimer: I'm not asking for money, just sharing my struggle. This blog is sometimes simply a place where I can let things out before my head explodes from thinking so much.**

As I lay here in my quiet apartment, all I want to do is cry. Crazy thoughts run through my head: "Maybe all of the naysayers were right." Maybe we rushed into marriage without knowing what we were getting ourselves into." "Maybe we're just not going to be able to successfully pull this off."

No, That Dude and I aren't unhappy with each other. In fact, the love is so thick you can cut through it with a pair of scissors when you're around us! Our issue is money. More bills than we know what to do with and less income than we need to keep us afloat. Ok, that's not totally true, we can afford to pay our monthly bills and rent with our income. The problem is that we're still playing catch-up with the bills that we weren't paying so that we could pay for the wedding. It's so frustrating to have to wait ANOTHER week to go food shopping (we've been lucky in that there is a food pantry at That Dude's job and they've allowed us to bring home a few cans and some dry goods, but it just isn't enough to actually put together meals.) My mom has helped some, but even she doesn't really know how tight things have been for the last few weeks.

I know that I have to trust that God is going to carry us through this and that we'll be fine, but it's tough when I know that I've just sent my husband off to work without eating anything for breakfast and with no lunch money (again).

I do a great job of smiling and pretending that things are fine, but inside I'm struggling to stay afloat. I'm terrified of what our financial future looks like and I just don't know what to do anymore.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

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