Monday, May 18, 2009

Text works better than talk?

Need more proof that we are living in a technologically dependant society? That Dude and I tend to discuss most of the important topics via email extensively before we ever touch on them in person! Some people would say that this is a bad idea, but to them I say, "Mind your business!" (actually, I wouldn't say that even if people didn't approve.) But what I would say is that it works for us, so why fix what's not broken?

That Dude and I have been extremely lucky on that we were friends before dating and extremely honest straightforward friends at that, so there hasn't been much opportunity for a real argument, since we both already knew fairly well each others' triggers. But the important topics have come up nonetheless. We've discussed the implications of going from dating to being in a relationship, money, family issues, and how to deal with obviously different communication styles - all via email (and texts at times.) We always follow up by discussing over the phone or in person, but by that point, we generally have an idea about the others' feelings as well as specific questions to help us understand whatever hasn't already been made clear.

Our deep email conversations have another advantage: NO INTERRUPTIONS! How many couples can sit and discuss lots of different topics that they don't always agree on and very nicely go back and forth with their own opinions being heard and never be interrupted? If you are raising your hand, then your relationship deserves the big invisible award of pretendland! Let's all be honest with each other here (or at minimum with ourselves) it just isn't easy to have someone say that your opinions are incorrect and that theirs are, without at least the urge to jump in with an explanation of why your opinion is actually the correct one. Seriously people, they're your opinions for a reason!

Any-whoo, I wonder, as I get deeper into this serious relationship, what ways other couples facilitate communication?

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