Happy Thanksgiving!

That Dude's family doesn't do anything big for the holidays (which works to my advantage) so this Thanksgiving That Dude and I are celebrating with the Best Man and his family and in a bit we'll head to my grandparents' house to see my family.

Gotta head back to the festivities, but I wish all of you and yours a very blessed Thanksgiving!

Surprises

That Dude is planning a bunch of little surprises for our wedding for me. How do I know? He's not very discrete. But it's cute, so I'll play along and try not to ask too many questions.

My problem though is that I'm sad that I feel like my hands are tied and I can't do the same for him. You see, most of my money for the next few weeks is set aside for the wedding and my bills and I can't afford little gifts for him and I'm so saddened by that fact. I wish I was more creative and could think of something that I could do for him that wouldn't put me into debt, but I'm so overwhelmed with the to-do list that I can't even begin to think of sweet things like that.

This whole gift/surprise thing has driven me into crying fits a few times over the last few days and I just don't know how to deal anymore.

Overwhelmed

I don't usually tell people when I feel overwhelmed, but it happens more often than I would like since I don't always know how to say no to things. Well, today is different. I'm sitting at home surrounded by envelopes with tears threatening to spill over. I know that these invitations should have been sent ages ago, but poor preparation means that I have to try to get them out as quickly as possible now. Unfortunately, although I started with help, the task of finishing up this job has been left to me and I just feel like scrapping the whole wedding as I look at how many more have to get finished.

Please tell me that this won't last forever...

Seek First His Kingdom...

Recent conversation between That Dude and me:

TD: “How was work today?”
Me: “It was WORK.”
...Silence while That Dude is in serious thought...
TD: “You know something, that is exactly my problem with your job. I can get over the late and weekend meetings, I can get past how far it is but I will never be able to get past the fact that every time I ask you about work you respond, ‘It was work.’ It shouldn't be that way Mel.”
Me: “But it’s not EVERYday. There are some days when I come home after having had a GREAT day at work!”
TD: “I know, and I treasure those days.”
Me: (Frustrated) “Well, I’m sorry honey, I NEED this job right now. Our wedding is just a few weeks away and I’d like for us to have food to eat and I don’t want to have to live in a shelter!”
TD: (Exhausted) “I know...”

Let me begin by saying that I don’t hate my job. I love that we get to help people who are in serious need. I love my co-workers. I have a swively leather chair and business cards and voicemail and Internet. My job involves a ministry component, so I can spend time reading the bible or about church history at my desk and nobody would think it odd. I’ve sat and spoken with politicians and Directors of great non-profit organizations and I’ve added significantly to both my network and my résumé in just 3 years. But even with all of that, I look forward to the weekend (and dread Monday mornings) more often than I’d like to admit. I come home feeling exhausted but unaccomplished many nights. And while I make more than I have any right to complain about (and more than the median household income of the community that I work in!) I sometimes feel like the money isn’t worth my stress levels, you know?

And as I was putting together a blog post about God being in control, I was reminded of a verse in the Gospel according to Matthew that says that we shouldn't worry because God sees what we need and as long as we are doing the work of His Kingdom, He will continue to provide for us. (Matthew 6:31-34)

I’m not planning to quit my job, but this was a great mental nudge. I don’t NEED this job. If I lost this job tomorrow, I’m lucky enough (in huge part because of my experience AT this job) to know what resources are available to us. If I lost this job tomorrow, I have the contacts and experience, and most importantly a Daddy God to help me get something new even in a time of nationwide recession!

What does all of this mean for me? It means that it’s time to get on the ball. This is where I am at the moment, not because I NEED to be but because it’s where God placed me 3 years ago and where I’ve chosen to stay for the time being. For as long as I’m here I need to excel at what I’m doing (“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.” Colossians 3:23)but I also need to be open to the Lord’s movements and only stay here as long as He says I should. Then, when the time comes I need to be prepared to trust Him to guide me in whatever comes next.

My Faraway "Friend"

If you pay attention to my list of blogs that I follow, or if you click through the posts that I share from time to time, you probably already know this, but I'm a huge fan of KingdomMama's blog, and if you're into reading blogs that talk about marriage, or parenting, or frugal living, or homeschooling, or God, or... well, why don't you just go have a looksee... I'm pretty sure you'll find for yourself that she is pretty awesome! I hope to someday meet her so that when I refer to my "friend" in conversation, people won't think I'm TOTALLY (or any more than usual) nuts!

You Reap What You Sow

"Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work."

(2 Corinthians 9:6-8)


This particular passage is hitting me in so many different ways right now, it is amazing!


1. You must sow before you can reap. Keeping the pack of seeds in a box at the top of the closet does you no good.

2. You reap according to what you sow, so if you plant apple seeds, don't expect oranges to grow and if you plant one seed and he plants 100, don't expect the same results!

3. Make a decision for yourself and stick to it. Don't give because you have to, give because you GET to!

4. Don't be a grumbling giver. Every time you give, check your heart and see where it's at. Be HAPPY about giving!

5. There is nothing wrong with expecting a ROI (Return on Investment) from God. If you do your part, He's more than willing to do His part!

6. Similar to the apple seed analogy, the turnaround time isn't instantaneous. You don't expect a flourishing 10 foot tall apple tree the morning after planting the seeds! You have to wait and water and prune your seed into a sapling and eventually into something that bears fruit and gives back.


I've heard/read the passage lots of times before, but as I stumbled over it today, it was like it had been written for me, right there and right then. I hope it does something for you guys too!

47 Days and Such a Busy Bee

Today is the first day of my 2nd furlough of the fiscal year and I'm busier than on a workday!


Here is a rundown of what I'm planning on getting done:

-The invitation design came to me in a dream (not a first for this planning process!) so now I've got to get to work! *Once they're mailed, pics will be posted!

-This Evening we'll be shooting our Engagement pics, which is taking much more work than I anticipated.

-This morning, I picked up That Dude's Dry Cleaning and dropped it off at his job, so that he can have something nice to wear for the pics

-I'm currently headed Uptown to my favorite hair stylist, so that my daily ponytail isn't what I'm sporting for the pics

-Once I've been beautified, I'll be right back onto the train to head home to find something nice to wear,

-Next we're off to catch some scenic sunset pics

-After pics we have to go to the church where we're getting married to fill out paperwork,

-Then it'll be back home to end the night by continuing to clean and prep for the move!


Based on my to-do list, it seems like the entire week will have a similar whirlwind like quality to it, but every time I think about the fact that I'll be married to the man that I love once it's all over, I get all giddy and forget all about being overwhelmed!