Day 11

We're not feeling well. :o(

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Post Wedding Blues...?

I heard time and again over the last 6 months about the "Post Wedding Blues" and how, after all of the planning and stressing to make it all PERFECT, the day would go by so quickly and I'd wish there had been more to it all. Well, here we are, day 10 since the wedding and I'm feeling nothing short of joy, just as I have every day since the wedding! **And, as a simple side note for all of those who said, "Just wait until one of you is sick, or cranky, or has a bad day at work..." I beg to differ since he's home with Pink Eye and I'm annoyed that I had to leave my house on what feels like a single digit temperature day, without gloves or a hat and get on a crowded train to go to work with a stuffy nose and mild fever, yet I'm still smiling!**

While I'll admit, the wedding day was indeed non-stop and I couldn't believe how quickly parts of it were over (like, who hit the fast forward button at the ceremony?), by the time we left the reception site (around 9pm) I was beat! I couldn't imagine dancing to one more song, or talking to even one more person.

All of this to say people should stop projecting their issues and insecurities onto others! I'm a living testament that you don't have to live by the standards of the norm. In fact, I'm calling my experience, "Post Wedding Bliss" instead!

Anybody else experience Post Wedding Bliss after getting married?

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Merry Christmas and NM Here We Come!!

Just shooting off a quick post to wish you all a very Merry Christmas! May we remember the true reason for the season as we walk through the day. That Dude and I will be spending the day with my family since his family doesn't really do holidays. Whatever you decide to do, I pray that you have a safe and God-filled day!

And before I go, I'd like to share that I won the contest over at KingdomMama's blog! That Dude and I are beyond excited and can't wait to travel west together and the first time for both of us! Yay! And if you're still thinking of organizations to support before the year is over, you still should really consider giving to Compassion International. They really do rock!

Ok, I'm off to prep for my day. Talk to you soon!

Day 5

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Day 2

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5 Day Test

As just about every person who has encountered me in the last few weeks knows, I'm scheduled to get married this upcoming Saturday, December 19th, to my best friend. A few hours ago, a serious test of our trust, love and future became a major part of our equation.

Out of respect to That Dude, our friendship and the almost-year-long relationship that we have, I will not get into details here, but I do ask the you pray for us.

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Bloggy Wedding Shower!!

Kingdom Mama is just so awesome! I few weeks ago, I asked her to help me to get as much advice on married life as possible. She wrote this post asking readers to chime in. I'd love if you would head over and link up too!


(And she even made this cool button for me!!)

Compassion International AND Red River? Oh Boy!

I had never heard of Compassion International until KingdomMama blogged about her contest, but now that I have, I think that this will be one of the charities that That Dude and I will be adopting! Yay!

Details for KingdomMama's Contest are available on her blog, but please don't just donate for the chance to visit NM (cuz I’m hoping I win and I wouldn’t want any of my readers to be disappointed! LOL)

Alone

Ever feel like there is nobody you can talk to? Like being connected via Blackberry, Twitter, Facebook, Instant Messenger, etc just makes communication even harder? Yea. That's how I feel.

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Happy Thanksgiving!

That Dude's family doesn't do anything big for the holidays (which works to my advantage) so this Thanksgiving That Dude and I are celebrating with the Best Man and his family and in a bit we'll head to my grandparents' house to see my family.

Gotta head back to the festivities, but I wish all of you and yours a very blessed Thanksgiving!

Surprises

That Dude is planning a bunch of little surprises for our wedding for me. How do I know? He's not very discrete. But it's cute, so I'll play along and try not to ask too many questions.

My problem though is that I'm sad that I feel like my hands are tied and I can't do the same for him. You see, most of my money for the next few weeks is set aside for the wedding and my bills and I can't afford little gifts for him and I'm so saddened by that fact. I wish I was more creative and could think of something that I could do for him that wouldn't put me into debt, but I'm so overwhelmed with the to-do list that I can't even begin to think of sweet things like that.

This whole gift/surprise thing has driven me into crying fits a few times over the last few days and I just don't know how to deal anymore.

Overwhelmed

I don't usually tell people when I feel overwhelmed, but it happens more often than I would like since I don't always know how to say no to things. Well, today is different. I'm sitting at home surrounded by envelopes with tears threatening to spill over. I know that these invitations should have been sent ages ago, but poor preparation means that I have to try to get them out as quickly as possible now. Unfortunately, although I started with help, the task of finishing up this job has been left to me and I just feel like scrapping the whole wedding as I look at how many more have to get finished.

Please tell me that this won't last forever...

Seek First His Kingdom...

Recent conversation between That Dude and me:

TD: “How was work today?”
Me: “It was WORK.”
...Silence while That Dude is in serious thought...
TD: “You know something, that is exactly my problem with your job. I can get over the late and weekend meetings, I can get past how far it is but I will never be able to get past the fact that every time I ask you about work you respond, ‘It was work.’ It shouldn't be that way Mel.”
Me: “But it’s not EVERYday. There are some days when I come home after having had a GREAT day at work!”
TD: “I know, and I treasure those days.”
Me: (Frustrated) “Well, I’m sorry honey, I NEED this job right now. Our wedding is just a few weeks away and I’d like for us to have food to eat and I don’t want to have to live in a shelter!”
TD: (Exhausted) “I know...”

Let me begin by saying that I don’t hate my job. I love that we get to help people who are in serious need. I love my co-workers. I have a swively leather chair and business cards and voicemail and Internet. My job involves a ministry component, so I can spend time reading the bible or about church history at my desk and nobody would think it odd. I’ve sat and spoken with politicians and Directors of great non-profit organizations and I’ve added significantly to both my network and my résumé in just 3 years. But even with all of that, I look forward to the weekend (and dread Monday mornings) more often than I’d like to admit. I come home feeling exhausted but unaccomplished many nights. And while I make more than I have any right to complain about (and more than the median household income of the community that I work in!) I sometimes feel like the money isn’t worth my stress levels, you know?

And as I was putting together a blog post about God being in control, I was reminded of a verse in the Gospel according to Matthew that says that we shouldn't worry because God sees what we need and as long as we are doing the work of His Kingdom, He will continue to provide for us. (Matthew 6:31-34)

I’m not planning to quit my job, but this was a great mental nudge. I don’t NEED this job. If I lost this job tomorrow, I’m lucky enough (in huge part because of my experience AT this job) to know what resources are available to us. If I lost this job tomorrow, I have the contacts and experience, and most importantly a Daddy God to help me get something new even in a time of nationwide recession!

What does all of this mean for me? It means that it’s time to get on the ball. This is where I am at the moment, not because I NEED to be but because it’s where God placed me 3 years ago and where I’ve chosen to stay for the time being. For as long as I’m here I need to excel at what I’m doing (“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.” Colossians 3:23)but I also need to be open to the Lord’s movements and only stay here as long as He says I should. Then, when the time comes I need to be prepared to trust Him to guide me in whatever comes next.

My Faraway "Friend"

If you pay attention to my list of blogs that I follow, or if you click through the posts that I share from time to time, you probably already know this, but I'm a huge fan of KingdomMama's blog, and if you're into reading blogs that talk about marriage, or parenting, or frugal living, or homeschooling, or God, or... well, why don't you just go have a looksee... I'm pretty sure you'll find for yourself that she is pretty awesome! I hope to someday meet her so that when I refer to my "friend" in conversation, people won't think I'm TOTALLY (or any more than usual) nuts!

You Reap What You Sow

"Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work."

(2 Corinthians 9:6-8)


This particular passage is hitting me in so many different ways right now, it is amazing!


1. You must sow before you can reap. Keeping the pack of seeds in a box at the top of the closet does you no good.

2. You reap according to what you sow, so if you plant apple seeds, don't expect oranges to grow and if you plant one seed and he plants 100, don't expect the same results!

3. Make a decision for yourself and stick to it. Don't give because you have to, give because you GET to!

4. Don't be a grumbling giver. Every time you give, check your heart and see where it's at. Be HAPPY about giving!

5. There is nothing wrong with expecting a ROI (Return on Investment) from God. If you do your part, He's more than willing to do His part!

6. Similar to the apple seed analogy, the turnaround time isn't instantaneous. You don't expect a flourishing 10 foot tall apple tree the morning after planting the seeds! You have to wait and water and prune your seed into a sapling and eventually into something that bears fruit and gives back.


I've heard/read the passage lots of times before, but as I stumbled over it today, it was like it had been written for me, right there and right then. I hope it does something for you guys too!

47 Days and Such a Busy Bee

Today is the first day of my 2nd furlough of the fiscal year and I'm busier than on a workday!


Here is a rundown of what I'm planning on getting done:

-The invitation design came to me in a dream (not a first for this planning process!) so now I've got to get to work! *Once they're mailed, pics will be posted!

-This Evening we'll be shooting our Engagement pics, which is taking much more work than I anticipated.

-This morning, I picked up That Dude's Dry Cleaning and dropped it off at his job, so that he can have something nice to wear for the pics

-I'm currently headed Uptown to my favorite hair stylist, so that my daily ponytail isn't what I'm sporting for the pics

-Once I've been beautified, I'll be right back onto the train to head home to find something nice to wear,

-Next we're off to catch some scenic sunset pics

-After pics we have to go to the church where we're getting married to fill out paperwork,

-Then it'll be back home to end the night by continuing to clean and prep for the move!


Based on my to-do list, it seems like the entire week will have a similar whirlwind like quality to it, but every time I think about the fact that I'll be married to the man that I love once it's all over, I get all giddy and forget all about being overwhelmed!

It's Official!!

I'm getting married in 50 days!! I guess I should actually get on the ball with planning...

Harvest of Friends Blog Party

Lynnette, over at Dancing Barfoot on Weathered Ground had this great idea for a blog party so that we could get to know other bloggers, and if you know me, you should know that I'm all about parties of any kind (yes, even virtual ones!)

I'll use the list of questions that she posted, but feel free to look around my blog or even email me if you want to get to know me even more. Enjoy! (And please, let me know where you're blogging at so that I can visit you too!)

20 Weird Questions That Will Give a Little Insight Into Who You Are (Pick whichever ones you want to use , use all of them - or make up your own)

1. What is your favorite thing to snack on while you're blogging?
I generally type blog posts on my Blackberry while I'm on the go, so I rarely get to relax and eat while I write (I'm sure my fellow Subway riders appreciate it!)

2. What is one thing you wouldn't want to live without?
My blackberry and the internet. I've become so attached that it's crazy. My phone is rarely far from me and when people discuss things that I'm interested in learning more about, I either Google it immediately, or make a note in my task list to look it up.

3. Beach, Mountains or Farm? Where would you live if you had a choice?
Warm, sunny beachhouse for me! In my mind, mountains = cold and farm almost made me break out in hives because of the very IDEA of work!

4. What's your least favorite chore/household duty?
Ummm, did you read my last answer? I REALLY don't like chores... If I HAD to chose one as my least favorite though, it would be sweeping/mopping. I never feel that I can get those jobs right.

5. Who do people say you remind them of?
I'm always hearing how 'cute' I am (like the ways puppies and teddy bears are cute, NOT like HOT GUYS looking across the room and saying, "Who's that? She's cute," but nobody ever compares my look to anyone except to say, "Wow, you look exactly like Al," (my dad)

6. Prefer parties and socializing or staying at home with the fam?
Both! I love going out to dance at clubs and lounges, but I also like Board Games at home

7. What's your all time favorite movie?
There are a few: Finding Nemo (made me wanna be a fish!), Goodfellas, A Bronx Tale (both made me want to marry Italian Mafia guys), and the documentary "Yo Soy Boricua: Pa' Que Tu Lo Sepas!" (made me start doing research on my Puerto Rican background.)

8. Do you sleep in your make up or remove it like a good girl every night?
I don't wear make-up everyday, but if I go clubbing I will and usually I get home so tired that I just crash with it still on. **I want to get out of this habit sooner than later since I'll be married soon and I'm pretty sure That Dude DOESN'T want to make up next to the crazy raccoon/spiderweb eyed woman!

9. Do you have a hidden talent or a deep desire to learn something that you've never had a chance to learn? What is it?
I've always wanted to learn to play the violin. Maybe someday I will.

10. What's one strange thing you're really good at?
Balancing on a moving subway. Years in the MTA have taught me well!

11. What first attracted you to your spouse?
My (almost) husband *That Dude* "seduced" me with his love of the Lord and his sense of humor.

12. What is something you love to smell?
Citrus fruits

13. Tell something about you that you know irritates people.
I'm ALWAYS late!

14. When you have extra money (HA!) what's the first thing you think to do with it?
Buy whatever I've been putting off on the longest

15. Are you a silent laugher or a loud laugher? What makes you laugh the hardest?
I can be a bit of both, depending on the situation. I usually laugh hardest at jokes that hit home with some truth. Kids unknowingly saying things that are a bit socially awkward are HILARIOUS to me!

16. Where is your favorite place to shop?
The WORLD… WIDE… WEB… (In the big booming God voice)

17. What's one thing you'd do more often if you had more time?
Blog, read, hug That Dude, play with My Nene

18. Are you a big spender or frugal?
Usually pretty frugal

19. Who is your favorite character of all time (from a movie or book)? (Can't be real)
Karen Hill from Goodfellas or Baby from Dirty Dancing

20. Would you want to be famous?
Yes, but not for singing or dancing, for doing something great, like starting my school for inner city kids someday.

Pomp and Circumstance

How important is the traditional wedding reception? How much does it matter to the guests?

That Dude and I are playing with some ideas. We are thinking about making our wedding 'reception' a combination of the following ideas:

-Go out to a restaurant and everyone cover their own meal
-Asking to use the space at my church to host something small like appetizers only (similar to the way that our Pastor and his wife did, but probably even less extravagant)
-Asking someone with a nice house if we can just have a nice simple house party
-Ipod as our DJ
-Possibility of cutting favors from the budget
-Doing it on a weeknight (probably a Thursday)
-Hiring a student photographer
-Cutting the guestlist
-Me getting a less expensive dress (the two that I fell in love with are $600 and $800)

These are just some of our ideas and we can use some or none of them. I just need some advice.

Wedding Inspiration

Ok, I didn't take pics (cuz I'm silly that way) but I really did have a blast at the wedding of my two good friends Tiffany and Ramon on Friday. They were simply one of the happiest couples I've seen in awhile and it even got That Dude into a lovey dovey mood!



The ceremony took place at a local outdoor community garden (these things are pretty common in the Lower East Side) and was followed by a brunch reception was at a local restaurant.



Luckily (I think) for the couple, her fam is concentrated in sunny Georgia and his family is "across the pond" in South Africa! They still had the "mushrooming guestlist" issue come up at some point (she's on staff at the church we attend and he's in the church band, so how do you decide who to invite?) but it never reached the numbers that my list has, therefore I'm unsympathetic! *Just kidding guys!*



All in all, I walked away with some great ideas, lots of reminders that I can have something beautiful WITHOUT going bankrupt, and a promise from That Dude to consider *Chris of Threshold Visions* as our wedding photographer (it's one of the few times I've been ridiculously excited about a vendor and I think he wants to keep me grounded in case we can't afford him.)



I'm glad to have shared this special day with them and I look forward to getting lots of newlywed advice from them! Mr. and Mrs. De Bruyn, I love you guys and wish you many years of marital bliss!

Meeting More Family

This weekend I had the opportunity to meet That Dude's paternal aunt and a few of his cousins. As usual, I worried myself way too much for absolutely no reason at all!

It was also a great opportunity for me to see him interacting with more kids and a great reminder that he really does love children and will be a great father someday!

I Did My Happy Dance...

"Ladies and Gentlemen, after Lorimer Street, the next stop on this Manhattan Bound L train will be *Union Square - 14th Street. Again that's Union Square - 14th Street"

*Union Square is 4 stops away from where I was which meant my ride was shortened by about 10 minutes! SCORE!!

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**NOTE: This was actually taken on the A train since the L was super packed and I didn't want to get attacked for taking strangers' pictures!**

Believing in the Dream...

That Dude is working with a friend on a new creative career path (for the friend not for That Dude). At first I kind of wrote it off as 'boys playing imagination games' then I was annoyed at the amount of time that he's been spending with his friend and then this morning... I was dreaming up ideas for them! What a turnaround! Feels like a serious case of "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em!"

So this post is dedicated to That Dude and "Famous180"! I see that you're more dedicated to this than I gave you guys credit for. I really do believe in and support your dream!

Does Size Really Matter?

I'm talking about wedding celebrations of course! The last few months have been an up and down struggle with guestlists and budgets. Do we want a 350 guest 3-ring-circus complete with fancy dresses and everyone we love or 15 of our nearest and dearest to join us for vows and lunch? Are we going to enjoy it better if we spend $10,000 vs $1,000? It's even been suggested that we take out a loan to cover our costs, but do we really NEED anything that we can't afford to buy upfront?

Help!

Things Are Quickly Changing

I screwed up... BIG TIME - let's start there, and let me also say that, in no way am I trying to put the blame for my actions on anyone else. Human as I am though, I have been filled with a terrible sense of shame and dread every since, and both emotions have been heightened since the truth about my screw up came out. Only time can heal wounds and while I am sincerely sorry for my actions, what happens in the next few days, weeks and months will determine things like where I stand with my family as well as what my future with That Dude will look like.

During this difficult time, I ask that you keep me in your prayers.

Frugal Living

If you haven't heard, I'm getting married soon (although at this point, I'm not so sure about how soon 'soon' really is.) Anyway, so we're trying to save toward the wedding and apartment as well as just trying to learn how to spend less in general since, whenever 'soon' rolls into town, we'll suddenly have bills and rent and all that good stuff.

Any suggestions on how we can cut corners? I'd be especially grateful for some low budget date ideas too!

Thanks!!

Six Word Saturday

Make sure to visit Cate to see who else is participating this week!

Oh boy, has it really been a whole week?! Well today (payday) was a reminder of what furloughs really are, so my six words are:

I wish furloughs were paid vacations!

Going From 0 to 60!

Wedding date selection at a glance:
Date we had originally considered: December 26, 2009
Date we chose afterwards: April 10, 2010
Date we settled on and is currently in the calendar at the church: June 26, 2010

When I met with Father T to change our wedding date his question to me was, "Are you sure this time, BEFORE I enter it in the book?". And I (of course) said with a chuckle, "Yes Father. We absolutely CANNOT do April because I'll be in school. This is definitely the date for us!"

You can guess what's about to come can't you?

...Continuation of Wedding date selection at a glance:
Newest date we've set our sights on: Christmas weekend 2009.

We'd both agreed that we didn't want a long engagement, and these days June 2010 seems like it's AGES away! We're a little concerned about having the big fantasy 350 guest wedding in such a short amount of time so I'm **being forced** graciously cutting down my half of the list **until I can convince him to give me the majority of his seats** to 50 or so people. :o)

This of course means turning around my lax attitude about the planning process since we've gone from 10 months to just over 18 weeks (and we still haven't told Father T yet!!)


Anybody have any tips for a simple yet elegant wedding that can be put together fairly quickly?

Six Words...

Make sure to visit Cate to see who else is participating this week!

My six words this week:

Trusting God to respond to prayers...

Ever Feel Like You Can't Win...?

Have you ever had someone who makes you second guess yourself? Someone who you want to please so badly that you go 'round in circles trying to make the 'correct' decisions? Yea, that's how I feel sometimes.

Wedding Planning Wednesday

Ready for an update on my wedding planning? Well here goes...

We've definitely decided on the wedding party, the color scheme, officiant, and ceremony location.

We think we know where we'll be hosting our reception (I'll be seeing at the space this Sunday, but it's been his suggestion since day 1, so if I like it we'll go with it.)

There are some major things that are still floating around waiting for a final decision on though. Our budget fluctuates from one day to the next, and our guest list is somewhere between 150 and 350 depending on our moods! We've agreed to sit down this week to finalize these major details so that we can finally begin to work on the other things that need our attention.

Keep checking back to see how far we get from week to week and how much of it is left to the last possible moment!

Titus 2 Tuesday

What have learned from another woman this week? (or ever) Write your own "Titus 2 Post" (linking back to ateachableheart somewhere within the body of your post) and also enter your link in the Mr. Linky below the Titus 2 post at ateachableheart!

This week I'm proud to say that I spent time under my grandmother's wing and I(as usual) I learned something!

I wanted to make dinner for That Dude but when he asked for Rice and Beans with Chicken cutlets, I was worried! It may sound like a simple enough meal, but growing up in a Latino household, this is a standard meal, meaning that I knew he'd eaten it a hundred million times done "correctly" and would easily notice if I screwed it up. There's an ongoing joke about my (lack of) cooking skills and having NEVER made Puerto Rican style beans before, I was worried that I'd prove everyone right, so I called my grandmother who lives fairly nearby, and asked if I could come by for guidance. She laughed and told me she'd be waiting.

While we cooked together, my grandmother told me a few (quite funny) stories about her adventures in cooking during the early years of her marriage to my grandfather (over fifty years ago!). It was especially side splitting to hear stories about my grandfather (who LOVES to cook - evidenced by his affinity for the Food Network, his collection of various cooking tools, and the many cookbooks that he owns) eating my grandmother's meals as she said "...con sus ojos cerrado" (with his eyes closed) but being so in love that he just didn't know how to tell her!

We chatted about her health and about my uncle who is about to buy a new house, we discussed the pros and cons of taking a family vacation to Puerto Rico, and then, all of a sudden, it was done! I packed up the food and ran out the door.

I learned how to make my grandmother's beans (SCORE!) but I also learned a bit more about the honeymoon period of marriage and above all, I learned more about my family's matriarch and THAT truly was the best feeling of all!

7 Quick Takes

Life has been an absolute whirlwind of activity lately and it's sometimes hard to keep up with writing, but since a faraway friend asked for an update, I knew I had to oblige! **I wrote this out and forgot to post it on Friday, sorry!

1. The concert is over and we took a financial loss. I still don't know what that will mean for my job, but I'm totally relaxed about it.

2. We've started the wedding planning process again. Checked out a photographer, DJ, and a bridal show at a Catering Hall, so far. The wedding party is pretty much set, except for a flower girl and ring bearer, although I'm pretty sure I'll be asking to have my cousin's daughter or my boss's daughter as our flower girl.

3. That Dude bought me a Blackberry and added me to his phone account, and despite my former aversion to all things Blackberry, I must admit, I actually don't hate it! It's WAY better than the Samsung Instinct from Sprint (IMHO) so I'm happy as a clam!

4. I have officially taken on the position of Kids' Church Coordinator for the non-denominational church that I belong to. I've also agreed to coordinate the Youth Group at the Catholic Parish that That Dude and I will be getting married at. With work and the possibility of school this semester, I've pretty much got every minute of the day taken up! But I love it, so I'm not stressing.

5. Many people have only heard about my oldest younger (step) brother in passing, but don't know much about him. First, although we aren't biologically related, he has always been and will always be my brother in my heart. With that said, I've been pretty actively searching for him for a few weeks now, and finally have some good news! He's not laying dead in some California ditch but is in fact taking the necessary steps to improve his life and I'm so proud of him. I hope to someday share his story, not today.

Also, my search has brought me two wonderful new friends that (based on my limited experience so far as well as the fact that my brother very obviously loves them both) I can't wait to repay them for all that they've done.

6. Each day That Dude manages to say or do something that makes me fall more in love with him. There had been some tension because of my stress levels, but as the fund raiser becomes nothing more than a memory, we've worked our way back into a (semi) normal relationship - well, at least normal for us!

7. The Lord is revealing different facets of His glory and mercy to me everyday. It seems though, that each time I have a glorious moment with the Lord, I get a spiritual attack that I always feel is "the worst it could ever possibly get.". I'm spending a lot of time in prayer and praising the Lord. I know that I cannot let these attacks get the best of me.

Thanks for reading!!

Six-Word Saturday (Hermana Glenda Edition)

Make sure to visit Cate to see who else is participating this week!

My six words this week:

Glad the concert is finally over!